My mind is tired
Some days, my mind feels empty
Don’t think any more words
Could come spill out of my brain
Then I put pen to paper
Words flow out again
Maybe not eloquent words
But words none the less
Words, people tell me bring them peace
Word, which give them some release
So I’ll keep writing
Til my brain has no more words
Hope you’ll keep reading
Let me know you enjoy them
The words which spill from my brain
I am no longer defined
by my grief.
Sure, it’s a part of me,
a big part of me—
the me I am now,
the me I will become.
But I’ve learned
that grief can be used
to help you grow,
to help you learn,
to help you understand
how to move forward.
Grief doesn’t have to be
an anchor
dragging across the bottom
of your heart,
holding you fast
to a certain point in time,
keeping you from moving
with the current of life.
Grief can be a lens—
a way to look back
and see the memories
more clearly.
Not to live in yesterday,
but to understand
what yesterday gave you.
The laughter.
The love.
The lessons.
The moments
you thought would last forever.
Grief can remind you
of where you’ve been
without demanding
that you stay there.
It can teach you
that moving forward
doesn’t mean moving on.
It doesn’t mean
forgetting who you loved,
or erasing what you shared.
It means carrying
the love with you
as you continue walking.
I will always have grief
somewhere inside me.
But grief is not all of me.
It is part of my story—
not the whole story.
It has changed me.
It has broken me.
It has taught me.
And now,
I am learning
to let it shape me
without letting it define me.
I am still here.
Still growing.
Still learning.
Still becoming.
And with every step forward,
I am discovering
that there can be life
after grief—
not the life I once knew,
but a new life,
a life I am still learning
how to live.
The What If
The what if
Is not my favorite friend
In fact it is something
I dread
What if
What if
What if
The what ifs
Running in my head
Playing in my brain
What if this
What if that
What if a got a cat
No wait that’s not what
I meant to say
Let’s try this again
What if you
What if me
Sadly, not meant to be
What ifs
Can make you doubt
Second guess
Run about
As you try to what if
Every chance you take
Every decision you make
Truly some what ifs
Are ok
As long you don’t let them
Take over
Each and every day
Sometimes
I sit and wonder
I think
I ponder
What it’s all about
Should I roll or
Should I doubt
I mean
Why am I here?
But
Not over there
Why do I walk
The path I bother
This one and
Not the other
The dreams I had
Fluttered away
Little by little
Day by day
But in reflection
My course was set
My steps were laid
On this path I tread
By God on high
Based on preset plans
To save me the wayward man
When you meet
—— someone
for the very first time
Do you
Freeze up
Seize up
Start to sweat
Do you
Think to much
Talk to much
Make things a mess
This one thing
You must remember
In any encounter
Is just let you
be you
It’s the prudent thing
to do
Because when you
Try to be anyone
but you
— the real you doesn’t
shine through
So the next time you
meet someone new
—— just be you
it’s the right thing to do
A song I wrote sometime ago
When I find myself in times
of trouble
Jesus comes to me
Speaking words of comfort
He comes to me
He comes to me
And in these my hours of
darkness
He is standing next to me
He comes to me
He comes to me
He comes to me
He comes to me
He comes to me
He’ll speak words of wisdom
to you
As he does to me
Why don’t you see
Come together all you
broken hearted people
It’s time to agree
Jesus is the answer
He comes to me
He comes to me
Though your loves departed
There’s still a chance to
find the answer
Why don’t you see
He comes to me
He comes to me
Why don’t you see
Jesus is still the answer
to all your questions
He comes to me
He comes to me
He comes to me
He comes to me
Let Him speak His
Words of wisdom
He comes to me
He comes to me
He comes to me
He comes to me
Let Him speak His
Words of wisdom
He comes to me
He comes to me
And when the darkness
of life surrounds you
He’s the light which
will shine through
All your tomorrows
Why don’t you see
Wake up to the sound
of rejoicing
Jesus will come to you
Speaking His words of wisdom
He comes to me
He comes to me
He comes to me
He comes to me
Jesus is still the answer
to all you questions
Why don’t you see yeah
Why don’t you see
Why don’t you see
Why don’t you see
Jesus is still the answer
to all your questions
Why don’t you see yeah
Why don’t you see
There are times
I want to
Give up
Quit
Throw in the towel
Say
It’s just not worth it
Then God calls me out
Says to me
Did I not
Create you
Make you
Knit you
In your mother’s womb
So weary one
Will I not
Lift you
Hold you
Carry you on through
So put your
Faith in
Trust in
Your hand in mine
I’ll help you walk
The long, sometimes hard
Line
I’ll help you to
Endure
Another day is over
And I’m a little older
Lately I’ve been feeling so blue
as I try, try, try
to deal with losing you
Wish I could change it
Maybe rearrange it
Find something new
for my weary heart to do
Not that my life is so bad
–all sad
Sometime I’m just to feelin’ so blue
Cause in the days I’ve found
When grief is around
She is a fickle mistress
— to get to know
sometimes she
leaves you feeling
— so down
others days you barely know
—- she’s around
Still there’s a part of me
who’s always to feelin’ blue
So don’t expect me to –
–jump up
–shout out
Wear a sunny smile
Cause right now
—I’m down
down to feelin’ a
—little blue
Someday I hope to
move through
Come out the other side
where the sun shines
Still in this life I know
the blues never go away
they stay
as a central part of you
wrapping all you say
and do
So again
not that my life is so bad
–all sad
Sometime I’m just to feelin’ so blue
Cause I found
grief is a fickled mistress
— to get to know
sometimes she
leaves you feeling
— so down
others days you barely know
—- she’s around
How many times
have you wished
to crawl back into
the embrace of
someone you loved
How many times
how many
How many times
have you wanted
to hear a voice
long gone
one more time
How many times
how many
How many times
have sought a scent
just a whiff of the one
you miss the most
How many times
how many
How many times
have you longed for
one more glimpse
of the person you miss
How many times
how many
How many times
have you desired just
a taste of the love
you had once before
How many times
how many
Loneliness and tears
are more than
any man can bear
The next thing you know
hours and days pass by
Time has become
irrelevant
in fact it seems as if
time stopped the moment
of my loss
All I know now are
daylight
and nights of restless sleep
when you mind screams
no, this is not happening
Yes, in truth you move on
though not without
unexpected pitfalls
and I must confess
on hearing certain sounds
like a favorite song
or smelling a certain scent
my mind again screams
NO, SHE CAN’T BE GONE!
These are the traps of
grief
each of us who suffered
a loss
must contend with each day
I’d like a moment of silence
but NO,
my mind is not ready
no, no, no
That’s how I used to be
But inside my I heart
I found my wife’s love there
still there
I now hold onto her love
hold it tightly in my hands
Remember her words
“You need to live…”
“You need to live…”
Her words have become my way
forward
by latching onto her love
I will to try live again
because
I know I still have love to give
to share
with somebody
I don’t know who
I don’t know when
but right now I’m moving
forward each
ever forward until the day
comes when God shows
me the way I am to go
The path I am to follow
